We sometimes take English for granted. But if we examine its paradoxes we find that Quicksand takes you down slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. If writers write, how come fingers don't fing. If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth. If the teacher taught, why didn't the preacher praught.
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what the heck does a humanitarian eat!? Why do people recite at a play, yet play at a recital? Park on driveways and drive on parkways. You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language where a house can burn up as it burns down and in which you fill in a form by filling it out.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the ativity of the human race (which of course isn't a race at all). That is why when the stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out they are invisible. And why it is that when I wind up my watch it starts but when I wind up this story it ends? And there's more .....................
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
Why are wise men and wise guys opposites?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes"?
Why is it that when I transport something by car it's called a shipment, but when I transport something by ship it's called cargo?
It is the same reason why fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing.
Some other why's are why did Japanese Kamikaze pilots wear crash helmets or why do they have braile numbers on drive through ATMs.
Or why do your feet smell and your nose runs?
Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one of them?
Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?
Why is that when you are driving and looking for an address you turn the radio down?
If nothing ever sticks to teflon how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?
If a 7-11 is open 24hrs a day 365 days a year, why are there locks on the door?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited?
How does the man who drives the snow plough get to work?
Why is it so hard to remember how to spell mnemonic?